Making New Relationships

I have now been at my new job for six weeks. It feels like longer, in the good way. It really feels like "home". I am building new relationships, and, I think, some may become friendships.

I have begun a mentoring program with several of the employees and the results have been a little surprising. I am sending a chapter a week to five of the people at the branch (I work at a credit union). It's not too much to read and it is good to let the information soak in for a few days. Two of the people who are receiveing the chapters really needed these leadership/relationship skills, but I wasn't sure they would read them. The others, I believed, would read it and benefit even though they already exhibited the attributes in some way.

The book, by the way, is the 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader by John Maxwell. You should read it.

Only two of the people (the one's I didn't think would read them) are reading the chapters without extra prompting from me. They are soaking up the infomation and appear to be putting their new found traits into practice. I'm excited because one of the them is someone who seemed to be having a great deal of conflict with the entire group. That conflict is now greatly relieved. The other person who is devoted to reading the chapters each week has expressed her gratitude for the challenge and believes it will help her to ascend from her self proclaimed rut.

I am pleased and having a great time in my new position and still looking foward to how God will use me in this place.

Thank you, LORD, for people and places to serve.

The Big One

Here I am at the end of a fabulous weekend. It was my Big birthday weekend and Husband and the family made it memorable. I have been wondering how I might handle it and made the choice to embrace my age rather than dread it.

What's to dread? My kids are all doing well and are at the ages where Husband and I have the freedom to do things we haven't had the time do in the past. I have begun a new job which, I believe, is the beginning of a challenging and fulfilling career. I have no regrets (that is code for I earned my college degree). I still like Husband and he still likes me, that is a real blessing. We are physically fit (ok, I could lose a few pounds) and, repeating what others have told us, we look a few years younger than our actual age.

I choose to embrace this season of my life. In fact, Husband and I worked on a list of things we would like to accomplish in years to come. The anticipation of achieving some difficult projects or simply saving up to travel the world is enough to stimulate my senses and propel me to figuratively climb higher mountains.

I want to step out of my comfort zone and build some relationships with new people who aren't like me. I desire to reconnect with friends I haven't seen for a while. I long to hug my kids and grandkids more often.

I am embracing the now, anticipating the future, loving this life.

New

There is a great deal to look forward to this week. I begin my final class on Wednesday and I start a new job tomorrow. My new position is still at the credit union where I am already employed, but now, I will be in management at another location. This branch is literally two minutes from my home. I am almost giddy about it. I get to learn new things, still go to my class (at an inconvenient time), and most of all meet and work with new people.

As I mentally prepare to move from my current position and the people I have worked with for the last 14 months, I am praying that I have made some impact on them for the Kingdom. How can I be sure? I think that maybe I'll write each of them a note that clearly explains who I live for and how important it is for them to choose who or what they will serve in this life. Yes, that's what I'll do. Tonight I will begin praying about what precise words will be in each note and I will urge God to prepare their hearts to read my Love note.

Now, as for the new co-workers I will be seeing each day in the future, they are my new mission field. God has provided a spectacular opportunity and I am certain He will open doors for His Name to be magnified.

LORD, let me be Your light.

Commence

Today is a big deal for me. I will actually fulfill one of my most desired achievements, graduation from the University. Today I will walk across a stage and accept a diploma (I know it's really empty, but it will be coming soon) that signifies that I have earned the honor of saying I have a Bachelor's Degree from a University.

The timing is perfect. Our youngest child is graduating from high school and will embark on a new phase of her life. This allows me to walk into a new phase of my existence. I am completeing this challenge only to begin a career. No doubt the possibilities that will present themselves to me in the next few weeks will be exciting and take much effort. I am ready. The ceremony is not lost on me. The symbolism of walking to the other side of the stage, accepting the weighty diploma and exiting the platform with a new sense of responsibility and duty is exciting. Now, rather than a single vision of parenting and all other things taking second place, the roles are switched. Those relationships with my children are still paramount, just different. Just how transformed is yet to be seen. I anticipate only excellent rapport with my new adult progeny.

How can one day make such a difference in my life? Because it isn't about today, it's about the 130 hours I earned through the years that allow me to take part in today's commencement.

Ok. I'll quit musing. Let's just get on with it!

What I've Learned

It's been one year since I began working outside my home and decided to go back to school full time. I must admit everything, yes everything, is different. My friendships, my family relationships, my housekeeping, and even my expectations for the future. Each paradigm I ever held dear, we might even call them ideologies, have changed. The transformations have not taken place without pain. It was time for the revolution, I didn't go willingly, but now I know it is all for the best.

I have learned:

I am only human. (This is really more of a reminder) This simple principle is reflected in the fact that I cannot please everyone, all the time. I have to prioritize and be satisfied with my choices.

Some friendships were relationships of convenience not intimacy. Some still continue to seek me out and keep up with me because they genuinely care for me and my future. This was a difficult and painful process.

I love learning. School has been an experience I will remember with great fondness. I hope I never quit exercising my brain and acquiring knowledge.

I always want to make time to serve God, family, and others no matter how busy and stressful life may get. This is where real fulfillment takes place.

I have put what I always believed I would be in the future away and I never again want to put my future in my own box. I want to follow, willingly and passionately, God's path for me. I will make plans and prepare for the future, but be ready for whatever God presents.

What I have learned is that learning never has to cease.

LORD, let me always be ready to learn.

Mother's Day

Somehow, each Mother's Day, I always conclude the day reminiscing about the day's events. Today was no different. My memories of today will include

An aromatic, perfect cup of coffee with Husband first thing this morning...
Life Group (Sunday School for us old timers) with friends...
Worship and teaching with my corporate church...
Lunch with my in-laws...
An enjoyable and enteraining dance recital (Granddaughter was the finest, of course!)
A visit with my Granny...
Home again...

Husband and I thought we would have an uneventful day of naps and relaxation since we had all our children and grandchildren over last night to celebrate the mothers in our family. Instead, every moment was filled with relationships, communication, and sharing our lives with others that are dear to us.

I wouldn't want it any other way!

A Milestone

It's Saturday, March 28th. A milestone for me. Today is our youngest child's 18th birthday. In the past month 25 turned 26, 24 to 25, 19 to 20, well you get the idea. So, now that all our children are legally adults, where does that leave me? I guess just about the same place I was yesterday: Tuition poor, a little tired, entirely content, and proud of all our children.

Each one has had their moments that we choose not to dwell on. We think of them at times just to remind ourselves that everyone makes mistakes and can still turn out to be unselfish, independent, responsible adults. That is the exact moment I always have a tear well up and spill over to my cheek: when I realize that even with all the mistakes I made, the poor decisions made by each child at various times, God simply chose to continue teaching, loving, and pouring out His inestimable, immutable Grace and gave us what we didn't deserve.

My heart overflows with joy
My mind unable to comprehend the gifts
My mouth insufficient to proclaim
I fall to my knees
Incapable of raising my eyes
You are Holy, You are Good, You are God

Almost Half Way

Here I am in the week before Spring Break, 2009. This is about the time in each semester when I am wondering what in the world I am doing. I'm tired, whiny, I have tests, projects, and reading to do and not much time to do it all. Work is easy but relentless. There just seems like there's not enough time to get it all done.

In this very moment what I require is a quiet corner, a deep breath, a word with my heavenly Father. The Sovereign's reminder that diligence is a virtue and that rest is sweeter after the frenzy of activity encourages me to plow through to the end of this week. One thing at a time, work on it, finish it, move on to the next.

Keep working, stay focused, do my best. Rest is coming. Persist.

PS. four more days till Husband returns.

Melancholy

It seems that after 20 years of Husband travelling I would be more than accustomed to being alone for extended times. But, that is certainly not the case. I miss him more and more each time he leaves.

This trip is an extraordinarily long trip. He will visit India and Thailand as he visits clients and customers. I am perfectly able to handle home and family while he is gone (after all, I've done it for years, at times with four teens at home). But, even though I have school and work, at the end of the day I want to share it with him.

I can, and do, experience some really interesting and entertaining events without him. They just don't have as much impact without someone to share them with. For example, I attended a lecture last week by Daryl Davis (look him up, you will be astounded), but I was alone. I wanted to relate my experience with someone who would care how it affected me.

I am reminded of a scene in a movie and I think it communicates why I miss Husband so much. It is from the movie "Shall We Dance", spoken by Susan Sarandon's character, Beverly Clark,

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."

Yep, that's it, that is why I miss him so much. I want him to witness my life and I want to witness his.

Love you Husband. Be safe.

Potential

Lord, take every little part of me.
Make me more than I am.
Own my mind, my desires.
Give me a future.
Instill passion, focus, zeal.

Guide me, use me.
Speak. Move.

I will listen. I will do.

A Simple Question

What do you think?

If you aren't living up to your full potential is it sin?

I have been pondering this for the last 24 hours. As Christians I am assuming our full potential is God's perfect will for us. If we don't do that (His perfect will) are we falling short or just doing something different?

If you have an answer I would love to hear it.

UN Christian

The other day I was able to listen to most of Brother's show (on KCBI 90.9 FM at 5p.m. - 6p.m., DFW Market). Usually, I am still at work and just can't tune in. I was intrigued by the questions he posed. The public was invited to call in and give their take on the subject.

(BTW, Brother, Happy Birthday!)

Here are the questions: What is the most unChristian thing non Christians do? And, what is the most unChristian thing Christians do?


After pondering these queries for quite a while, (that is why I would never be a good caller on one of these shows, it takes me too long to come up with my final answer), this is what I came up with. I think for each group, Christian or nonChristian, my determination is the same. Our most unChristian action is that we do not live with "purpose". Now remember, I am speaking in generalities, so as I explain myself I know you will find some example of how my opinion would not be true, but, on the whole, considering the majority of people I know, I believe this statement is, by and large, an accurate statement.


Let me explain. People travel through each day and they are simply tossed to and fro by the choices that must be made in the present. Few plan for the future and seldom do we find that people look ahead and make well thought out decisions. Therefore, mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially people are rarely prepared for events of the day, therefore, decisions are made in a defensive mode, and the comprehensive effects of the choices of the moment are often surprising and lead to unanticipated consequences.


As Christians we have a purpose. Our purpose is to have an intimate relationship with God, through Jesus Christ, let Him work in us and through us so the "the rest of the world will know that He is the LORD God and there is no other" (1Kings 8:59-60).



Are you letting Him work in you? Can the world see that He is LORD? Do your choices reveal the Greatness and Goodness of God? Remember your Purpose. With a Purpose we can live with passion! How Great is My God!

Sick of it!

Is it just me or are you just as sick of hearing about the spending (stimulus) bill that Congress is debating and the ridiculous job our representatives are doing in Washington D.C.? I just can't stand it. Everyone in D. C. should be sent home, we should vote for and enact term limits, and have some kind of written moral and ethical standard for those who serve in a leadership role in the government (which is everyone).

I usually try to avoid much political talk on this blog because I could get carried away and we would all get bored with it. However, I am just sick of the status of our nation and the guilt of the government in putting us there.

There! I said it. I feel a little better.

Heat

I awoke yesterday morning and, of course, walked straight to the kitchen for that first cup of stimulus called coffee. The initial sip of that hot libation always makes me sigh. Every day it invokes the same response from me. I taste, my eyes involuntarily close, I sigh. Aaaahhhh.

However, my bliss didn't last long. As I toured the house, making my morning survey of what must be done, I noted how chilly each room was. I was sure it was just that it was extra cold outside and the arctic air was making its way in through our old single pane windows. So, I decided to start the fireplace, turn up the thermostat, and enjoy the quiet morning. Well, what a surprise I had when I reached the thermostat and noticed the temperature was only 60 even though it should have been 69. I quickly put my hand in front of a vent and felt cold air blowing. Oh, no! I turned off the system at the thermostat, BUT, the cold air kept blowing! I was afraid that our HVAC system's name might be HAL (a reference to the computer in 2001: A Space Odyssey for you younger people.)

Ok, I'll spare you all the details of an hour of trying to get the heater to quit blowing cold air and just leap to the end of the story. After several phone calls, none were able to travel to me and aid me in my distress, I decided I would just have to help myself. (Dad was iced in, Husband in Europe, and HVAC guy in Dallas.)

I climbed into the attic, found the on/off switch for the entire HVAC system and turned it off. YES! The cold air quit blowing. Now, how can I get the warm air to return to the leggy vent system that delivers warmth and comfort to our living quarters? In short, I rebooted the system by turning it back on. Miraculously, the heat began to blow.

Why comment on my pedestrian experience with my heater? Because these are the types of experiences that I would choose not to deal with, which is why I called others for answers before I began to really search for a solution myself. But, having been forced to do it myself, I know that sometimes my own ideas are worth trying and may be the solution I need. Maybe next time I will try to fix it myself first, before I send out distress calls, literally, around the world.

At Home, Love is the Theme

T1 and T2 will meet their brother and dog and become familiar with home today. What a wild three weeks it has been. But, now, the anticipated has truly arrived.

Home should be a safe haven for all inhabitants. Home is sometimes chaotic but should be comfortable. Home is a retreat where honor and respect are found, sympathy and grace are given, mercy and forgiveness are taught. Nuturing and caresses are frequent and playfulness the mood. Love is the theme.

Pretty lofty goals? Yes, and sometimes it seems impossible since home is where most conflict begins, many hearts are torn, and tears are spilt. We must always press on toward this objective: Love is the theme.

Remember the theme when exhaustion has set in. Recall love when quarrels arise. Keep in mind the goal when the din of the world overcomes the stillness of Truth.

I pray that all who go home today will find that Love is the Theme where they abide.

Timing

Timing will be an important component of the next few weeks. I have been trying to schedule my time so that I can do everything I deem important. A few things on my list:

*School - I begin a final semester at the university tomorrow.
*Work - I am still working part time while I attend school.
*24 and the twins -I want to be available when they come home
*Home - my time at home with 17, 19, and Husband

That is really what life is about, right? Timing. How we choose to spend our time. Who we spend it with. How we prioritize. In my life, since having children, I have scrutinized every day and how I spent my time. That is one of the reasons I haven't completed my college education until now, my children took priority over all things. That isn't to say I didn't do anything, on the contrary, I served in significant roles in ministries that impacted many people. But, the time I spent serving was well timed to cooincide with their schedules. My goal was to take care of their needs first. Did I succeed every day at this objective? I think I did on most days. Does it sound like I'm tooting my own horn? I hope not. But, my reality is that I would do it the same way if I had the chance to do it again.

(You may be recalling my "one regret", which was not earning my degree. That consists of time I squandered before I had children.)

So, how will this week play out? I have no idea. T1 and T2 are really doing well. They are eating better, gaining weight, and are stronger every day. That is why I must be intimate with my Lord every moment so that I can have an objective view of the world and discern what my priorities should be.

Lord, guide me to spend my time well each moment.

Young

Yesterday brought news from the neonatologist (? is that how you spell that? You know they are smart if you can't even spell what they do!), it seems that the twins are one week younger, gestationally, than originally thought. That means they were born at 34 weeks rather than 35 weeks. This was, in a way, good news for 24 and her husband. The babies are doing well for 34 weeks old. They have set their expectations on this age and expect to see them begin eating more from the bottle and have less supplemental formula from the feeding tube in the next week.

Just a thought: Each time we visit the babies we must scrub our hands to our elbows for a timed three minutes. We disinfect ourselves from the outside world and care for the twins with clean hands. Oh, if only we kept that picture for every day of our parenting lives. Metaphorically, everyday let's scrub ourselves clean before we start our parenting chores. Wash up, gas up, get ready for the day in the Word. That would "rock" this world and really give our kids what they need.

More news will follow as I get it. Thanks for keeping up with us. Your love, concern, and prayers are a necessary part of our existence. I thank God for you each time I think of you.

Feed Me

Today both babies have been given feeding tubes to supplement their eating. Neither is interested enough to eat a full meal. Both are in warmers. The chances that they will go home at the end of this week are quickly fading.

24 was released from the hospital yesterday and is enjoying the comfort and ease of her home. G2 is also thrilled to be in his own home. 24 and her husband are travelling twice a day to feed and hold the babies and this will take a toll in a few days.

Pray that the babies will begin to eat enough to gain weight, hold their body tempurature, and come out of the warmers. All this progress begins with their ability to want to eat more.

Today

Today, that is all we look at right now, today. If we look too far ahead the list of to do's is daunting. So, we look at today. Hey! That's biblical.

Today, 24 would love to go home, but, we are waiting on the doctor to come by. Her blood count is low and this fact could keep her from going home.

Today, T2 is not eating very well. He has a tube that is supplementing his feeding. This is very normal for a premie, but, we are praying for him to begin eating enough on his own not to need the tube.

Today, both babies are in warmers. They weren't keeping their temperatures up well enough, and so they are being helped by the warmers.

Today, their 2 year old brother(G2) is ready to go home to play with the dog and be nurtured by his mom and dad. Pray that he has a good day playing with husband.

Today, God is big enough to meet our needs and fully exceed our expectations. Glory to God our Caretaker for all we have already received.

Update on 24 - 1/11 p.m.

It's Sunday, the end of a good day. T1 is fabulous. He is no longer under the warmer and has been placed in a regular crib. He is eating well and we are anxious to see how soon he will begin to gain weight. He is a good burper and has had his eyes open, taking in his new world, each time we visited him today.

T2 is also gaining strength and health by the hour. He no longer requires oxygen from a tube in his nose and is eating about an ounce every three hours. He is still under the warmer but seems stronger and more alert each time we have seen him today.

I was overcome with true humility and thankfulness today as I worshiped my Creator. I have done nothing in my entire life that could have earned such blessings. Husband and I now have five grandchildren (which is entirely impossible in my own mind since I still feel 35.) Our children are becoming such delightful people that I love being with (and I sincerely had my doubts that this could occur at certain seasons of my life).

Lord, reveal Yourself to our grandchildren. Draw them to You. Save them, use them, bless them, fill them. Let each of them accept You as their personal Savior early in their lives. Lead their parents to teach Your Word to them, to live Your Word so they will see and understand Your character. Cover all of them with Your Loving, Strong, Caring hand. Amen