O.K., I know I have probably shared this before, but some days I cannot decide what my purpose is here. I have a very full life, ministry at my local church (to kids and women), a real estate job, caring for my husband and children, taking care of our household (I don't have a housekeeper), maintaining friendships, excersising 4 days a week (at 46 you have to or everything goes south!), and trying to remain flexible so that when things pop up I am available. I enjoy each of these segments of my life immensly. However, it does get tedious when it appears that my efforts are discouraged by others, or that I am having no tangible effect. The area in which I am discouraged today, and realistically for at least the past year, is in ministry.
When I accepted the position at our church to head up the women's and children's ministries it was because there was need and I felt a calling. After almost 3 years I am grateful for the challenge, the character it has built in me, and the memories, but, I see no change in the ministries in general, nor the people. I cannot call myself a failure because I feel I did my best and was faithful to do what I was called to do. But, maybe it is time for someone else to affect change in these areas. I cannot let my pride keep me in a position in which I should not continue. Maybe my ministry is something different than administration, maybe I should jump off into a new arena where I will really be stretched.
Timing is everything. Is now the time? Maybe.
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