Frozen

OK, OK, I'll finally say it out loud, my shoulder hurts and it simply doesn't work. It is frozen! Have you ever heard of such a thing? I hadn't before about a month ago.

Dr. - "Well, it seems your shoulder is frozen."
Me - "What do you mean frozen?"
Dr. - "Frozen, as in won't move at all."
Me - "You've got to be kidding."
Dr. - " Do I look like I'm kidding?"

Believe me, this doc has something frozen and it's not his shoulder. He wasn't kidding. So the past few weeks I have spent much time (2-3 hours a day) doing physical therapy, 3 times a week at the clinic where an exceptionally nice therapist moves my arm and shoulder to locations that feel as if they are out of this universe. Therapy is time consuming and painful. This morning I was discussing (with myself) the possibility of just being satisfied with one arm that is fully functioning and the other that I can use as long as I don't try to raise it too high. Most people won't even notice that I reach with only one arm, that washing and drying my hair is a gymnastic feat, and hugging my dearest loved ones causes a grimace. I think I can do it!

My tearful prayer this morning was a plea to God to "melt" my shoulder.

"I need it!" I prayed with an exclamation point. "I don't want to just appear to be well, I want to be healthy, able bodied, fit as a fiddle."

I soon realized that I am more concerned with my physical health than my spiritual fitness. I appear to others to be spiritually fit, yet, I know that I hold back parts of me that God still wants to soften and mold so that I will not merely appear to be spiritually hale, but truly biblically strong throughout my entire being.

Have your physical limitations and neediness revealed to you your need for spiritual healing and awakening? What is frozen in you?