Does anyone else find this ironic?
Yesterday I was going to vacuum the front room. It's the room we all spend most of our time in. It's where we watch the most tv (the best tv is in there), the kids toys are in there and they really make a mess with their snacks and drinks. Anyway, I was on my way to clean it, 18 was in the dining room, across the foyer, writing a paper.
18 - Oh no! You're not going to vacuum now, are you?
me - Why, yes, I am. That room is a mess and I want to clean it before the Maverick game tonight. ( We are avid Dallas Maverick Basketball fans)
18 - Please, don't, I won't be able to concentrate, it will be too loud.
me - ok. I can wait a while. How long will you be?
18 - (no answer.)
She had already popped her ipod earphones in and promptly turned it up so high she couldn't hear a word I said.
Someone please save me from my reasonable self!
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
The Heritage: Ecclesiastes - Week 2
Heritage (Webster's Definition)
1 : property that descends to an heir
2 a : something transmitted by or acquired from a predecessor
3 : something possessed as a result of one's natural situation or birth
Synonyms: LEGACY, INHERITANCE b : TRADITION, BIRTHRIGHT
I. God’s inheritance for me is …
a. Eternal (Ps 37:18)
b. Steadfast (Ps 94:14)
c. Vindication and Righteousness (Is 54:17)
d. Forgiving, Merciful, and Compassionate (Micah 7:18-19)
e. God Himself (Ezekiel 44:28)
II. Is the heritage I am leaving…
a. Eternal?
b. Steadfast?
c. Dependent on God for vindication and righteousness?
d. Forgiving, merciful, and compassionate?
e. God Himself?
III. No regrets
a. Have I been faithful with what God has given me? (Jer 2:7)
b. Have I considered my children a heritage of the Lord? (Ps 127:3)
c. Walk wisely, redeeming the time. (Eph 5:15-16)
1 : property that descends to an heir
2 a : something transmitted by or acquired from a predecessor
3 : something possessed as a result of one's natural situation or birth
Synonyms: LEGACY, INHERITANCE b : TRADITION, BIRTHRIGHT
I. God’s inheritance for me is …
a. Eternal (Ps 37:18)
b. Steadfast (Ps 94:14)
c. Vindication and Righteousness (Is 54:17)
d. Forgiving, Merciful, and Compassionate (Micah 7:18-19)
e. God Himself (Ezekiel 44:28)
II. Is the heritage I am leaving…
a. Eternal?
b. Steadfast?
c. Dependent on God for vindication and righteousness?
d. Forgiving, merciful, and compassionate?
e. God Himself?
III. No regrets
a. Have I been faithful with what God has given me? (Jer 2:7)
b. Have I considered my children a heritage of the Lord? (Ps 127:3)
c. Walk wisely, redeeming the time. (Eph 5:15-16)
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Free Time
Boy! My life truly is different than it was just a mere five years ago. That realization struck me between the eyes today as I was discussing with some peers about our freetime vs. the time we spend on responsibilities. Basically, we were all given a piece of paper with a circle on it. Our task was to divide the "pie" into three catagories: 1. time spent doing responsibilities 2. time spent planning or thinking about my responsibilities 3. free time.
Five years ago all four of my children lived at home. This fact may explain fully to some of you (at least those of you who are moms) that only the time that I slept was free from fulfilling my duties.
Today, and even I have a difficult time believing this, I think my circle is completely consumed with free time. I know, I know "what about the laundry?" you ask. Well, I have considered that and a few other things I still do for my family and here is my answer:
My children are 24, 23, 18, & 16. Two of them do not even live in my house any longer, 18 and 16 can do their own laundry. Sometimes I still do the laundry for them, as a courtesy, but I only do it if I have the "free" time to do it and I want to.
The same thing applies to cooking. Most of the time no one shows up for dinner anymore. Except maybe husband, then, I "freely" choose to cook a healthy, tasty dinner for us and anyone else who may want to join us.
Cleaning house: I enjoy a neat home, it is usually neat, not necessarily clean. When I want to, I clean. My friends can tell you, I don't clean often enough.
I watch my grandchildren regularly and those times you might say are a duty. No, I will argue, I gladly, "freely" spend the day with them.
Now, soon enough, I will have responsibilities for ministry events at the church we joined a few months back. People will be depending on me to do my best at carrying out those duties. However, I would even argue that I will do those things because I have the freedom and passionate desire to see these events succeed. These activities have the potential to change people's lives, give them hope for a future. Sometimes the planning and execution is time consuming and difficult, but for me it is Life! I have missed the busyness and challenge of preparing for these events. I am ready to jump back in.
Now that I think of it the days (five years ago) where I washed clothes incessantly, cooked continuously (three squares a day), drove ceaselessly to the unrelenting schedules of practices and games for all the children (did I tell you husband travelled ALL THE TIME back then?), organized and led a ministry, and taught a Bible class three times a week might be put in my free time category.
Crazy, huh? But that life is what I "freely" chose. My free time spent investing in our family and what I believed to be the best for them. And I can honestly say I would gladly choose it all over again.
Five years ago all four of my children lived at home. This fact may explain fully to some of you (at least those of you who are moms) that only the time that I slept was free from fulfilling my duties.
Today, and even I have a difficult time believing this, I think my circle is completely consumed with free time. I know, I know "what about the laundry?" you ask. Well, I have considered that and a few other things I still do for my family and here is my answer:
My children are 24, 23, 18, & 16. Two of them do not even live in my house any longer, 18 and 16 can do their own laundry. Sometimes I still do the laundry for them, as a courtesy, but I only do it if I have the "free" time to do it and I want to.
The same thing applies to cooking. Most of the time no one shows up for dinner anymore. Except maybe husband, then, I "freely" choose to cook a healthy, tasty dinner for us and anyone else who may want to join us.
Cleaning house: I enjoy a neat home, it is usually neat, not necessarily clean. When I want to, I clean. My friends can tell you, I don't clean often enough.
I watch my grandchildren regularly and those times you might say are a duty. No, I will argue, I gladly, "freely" spend the day with them.
Now, soon enough, I will have responsibilities for ministry events at the church we joined a few months back. People will be depending on me to do my best at carrying out those duties. However, I would even argue that I will do those things because I have the freedom and passionate desire to see these events succeed. These activities have the potential to change people's lives, give them hope for a future. Sometimes the planning and execution is time consuming and difficult, but for me it is Life! I have missed the busyness and challenge of preparing for these events. I am ready to jump back in.
Now that I think of it the days (five years ago) where I washed clothes incessantly, cooked continuously (three squares a day), drove ceaselessly to the unrelenting schedules of practices and games for all the children (did I tell you husband travelled ALL THE TIME back then?), organized and led a ministry, and taught a Bible class three times a week might be put in my free time category.
Crazy, huh? But that life is what I "freely" chose. My free time spent investing in our family and what I believed to be the best for them. And I can honestly say I would gladly choose it all over again.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Graduation
Twelve hours until the big event. 18 will walk across the stage with her high school graduating class and receive the first significant award she will earn in her lifetime. Up to now, in her short existence, this is the most important day she has experienced. There have been times she will remember as more fun, but this day, in truth, ushers in her life as an adult.
Her family(parents, grandparents, and siblings) will expect more from her. She has been allowed the freedom to make some mistakes under the umbrella of protection of her parents. We, in essence, have covered her financially, emotionally, and physically. Now, she will be solely responsible for own decisions and the consequences that will follow, whether positive or negative. Our desire for her is that she will seek wise counsel before making any weighty choices. I believe she will. We are available and always ready (sometimes too ready) to give advice that we consider prudent. Part of our growing up as parents will be to wait to give our opinions until asked.
As I ironed her gown I realized that this day arrives so much sooner than we can anticipate. As parents, husband and I have done all we can to prepare her for her adult life, but there will be some things she must learn and decide on her own. What career will she pursue? What man will she love? Will she serve the LORD God or her own self made god? These things I will offer up in prayer to my Hope in Christ.
Lord, protect 18's heart and mind. Call her to You. Let her be satisfied with nothing less than You.
Her family(parents, grandparents, and siblings) will expect more from her. She has been allowed the freedom to make some mistakes under the umbrella of protection of her parents. We, in essence, have covered her financially, emotionally, and physically. Now, she will be solely responsible for own decisions and the consequences that will follow, whether positive or negative. Our desire for her is that she will seek wise counsel before making any weighty choices. I believe she will. We are available and always ready (sometimes too ready) to give advice that we consider prudent. Part of our growing up as parents will be to wait to give our opinions until asked.
As I ironed her gown I realized that this day arrives so much sooner than we can anticipate. As parents, husband and I have done all we can to prepare her for her adult life, but there will be some things she must learn and decide on her own. What career will she pursue? What man will she love? Will she serve the LORD God or her own self made god? These things I will offer up in prayer to my Hope in Christ.
Lord, protect 18's heart and mind. Call her to You. Let her be satisfied with nothing less than You.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
What Now?
It's been over a week since "the event"(Let Me Be Brief) and I have had plenty of time to process my thoughts and emotions. Wow, what an array of attitudes have crossed my mind! I have gone from extreme anger (and I mean extreme), to pity(for myself, of course), to just a complete loss of knowing what to do next.
Husband and I want what is best for 18 and for the family as a whole. She should experience some acute consequences. I believe they should be natural consequences, not neccesarily conjured up by me. Do you know what I mean? For instance, in the present, she is having to be driven everywhere from school to work to the movies. Wherever she goes she must be taken, like a pre-teen. No one wants to allow her to drive their car yet. In the near future the consequences are less about convenience and pride and more about finances. She will be required to buy or replace her car and carry comprehensive insurance. It will be quite a burden for her. An onus we deliberately worked hard for her not to carry while she was in college.
Therein lies the root of my self pity. We planned and saved and paid off cars in order to give them to our children so they would have a smaller insurance bill and no car payments. They have only been required to pay for their gas and incidentals, and now, that opportunity has been shattered by recklessness. That is what really tests me!
Don't you know that is how God feels about me? God sacrificed for my redemption and freedom and I continually live inattentively and ruin my chance at life without harsh consequences. What is wrong with me!?! He continues to give me chance after chance and I wreck it.
The questions I have about what is right parenting in this situation will be answered by how God parents me. Since I have continuously disappointed Him, yea, even made Him angry with my carelessness in regard to the details in my life, I will do the same with 18. She will have consequences, she will be forgiven, she will be loved. No grudges, no bitterness.
Husband and I want what is best for 18 and for the family as a whole. She should experience some acute consequences. I believe they should be natural consequences, not neccesarily conjured up by me. Do you know what I mean? For instance, in the present, she is having to be driven everywhere from school to work to the movies. Wherever she goes she must be taken, like a pre-teen. No one wants to allow her to drive their car yet. In the near future the consequences are less about convenience and pride and more about finances. She will be required to buy or replace her car and carry comprehensive insurance. It will be quite a burden for her. An onus we deliberately worked hard for her not to carry while she was in college.
Therein lies the root of my self pity. We planned and saved and paid off cars in order to give them to our children so they would have a smaller insurance bill and no car payments. They have only been required to pay for their gas and incidentals, and now, that opportunity has been shattered by recklessness. That is what really tests me!
Don't you know that is how God feels about me? God sacrificed for my redemption and freedom and I continually live inattentively and ruin my chance at life without harsh consequences. What is wrong with me!?! He continues to give me chance after chance and I wreck it.
The questions I have about what is right parenting in this situation will be answered by how God parents me. Since I have continuously disappointed Him, yea, even made Him angry with my carelessness in regard to the details in my life, I will do the same with 18. She will have consequences, she will be forgiven, she will be loved. No grudges, no bitterness.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Let Me Be Brief
Fixed husband's car. (refer to Dead as a Doornail)
Picked it up Thursday p.m.
18 wrecked it Sunday.
That is all.
Picked it up Thursday p.m.
18 wrecked it Sunday.
That is all.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Dead as a Doornail
Where did that expression come from? Maybe because you are supposed to hit the doornail again and again on the head and it's no worse off than when you began the beating? Oh well, I digress. What is dead is not our doornail (what is a doornail, anyway?), it is Husband's car. Yep! That's right, 18 killed the car. "Now what?" you may ask. Are we angry with 18? Will we make her pay? Will we hold it over her head until we feel better? No, none of the above.
She asked the same question when she discovered the car was deceased.
"Are you mad at me?"
"No", I answered slowly, trying to figure out exactly how I felt at the moment.
"What are you going to do?" 18 asked me, because, of course, Husband is out of town.
"Well, honey, I guess we are all just going to..." searching for words...
"We are all just going to pay for the consequences of my mistake!!!" 18 interjected.
No truer words have been spoken by such a young soul. The reality of poor choices is that they are not made in a vacuum. Our decisions, good or bad, effect everyone around us. The decision to take Husband's car last week will be an expensive one. We must replace it, it is a necessity. Every month will be financially leaner for Husband and I because we will have a car payment we did not expect. We will still have college bills, groceries to buy, mortgage etc. In essence less money for the fun stuff.
You may think this was an awful event in the life of our family. I am not so sure I agree. If my 18 year old can see the truth about sin and the dire consequences of it, and use that knowledge in the future to avoid a worse mistake, then I welcome the cost. After all, my sin has been paid for, and not by me!
She asked the same question when she discovered the car was deceased.
"Are you mad at me?"
"No", I answered slowly, trying to figure out exactly how I felt at the moment.
"What are you going to do?" 18 asked me, because, of course, Husband is out of town.
"Well, honey, I guess we are all just going to..." searching for words...
"We are all just going to pay for the consequences of my mistake!!!" 18 interjected.
No truer words have been spoken by such a young soul. The reality of poor choices is that they are not made in a vacuum. Our decisions, good or bad, effect everyone around us. The decision to take Husband's car last week will be an expensive one. We must replace it, it is a necessity. Every month will be financially leaner for Husband and I because we will have a car payment we did not expect. We will still have college bills, groceries to buy, mortgage etc. In essence less money for the fun stuff.
You may think this was an awful event in the life of our family. I am not so sure I agree. If my 18 year old can see the truth about sin and the dire consequences of it, and use that knowledge in the future to avoid a worse mistake, then I welcome the cost. After all, my sin has been paid for, and not by me!
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Incredible
That's what I call my life somedays, simply incredible. Today, 15, 17, and I will be leaving for Paris. France, that is. We will be meeting Husband there to holiday together. (He has been in Singapore on a business trip.) We are vacationing in Gay Paree!! Oh, my goodness! How does someone like me get to do something as fabulous as spending spring break around the world? Oh, well, I am not going to look for answers today, I am simply going to prepare to have a grand time with 15 and 17.
This could be a challenge. 15 and 17 don't always have fun together. They are as different as night and day. One is quiet the other is talkative. One is an optimist, the other a pessimist. One an overpacker, one an underpacker. Dark, light. Alarmist, calm. Impatient, patient. Brash, gentle. Could they possibly be more different. I don't think so. But, this is what gives life it's color. Who wants a gray world? I don't. I admit, I could do without some of the more difficult challenges my children cause me to face, but, in reality would the good times be as precious without having experienced the thornier days?
I have delayed this extravagant vacation with children because I have feared I might not have a good time with them.They probably will not appreciate me and all the effort I have to put forth in order for this trip to take place. The money, the time to plan each day, the jet lag, the relationships, the everything. But, today, I believe it will all be worth it. They are excited to go and looking forward to every moment. I will genuinely take pleasure in merely watching them experience Paris, from packing to returning home. I will hold every moment captive because we will probably never get to experience this with them again.
Thank you Lord for your gracious generosity. Thank you for my children. Thank you for Husband.
This could be a challenge. 15 and 17 don't always have fun together. They are as different as night and day. One is quiet the other is talkative. One is an optimist, the other a pessimist. One an overpacker, one an underpacker. Dark, light. Alarmist, calm. Impatient, patient. Brash, gentle. Could they possibly be more different. I don't think so. But, this is what gives life it's color. Who wants a gray world? I don't. I admit, I could do without some of the more difficult challenges my children cause me to face, but, in reality would the good times be as precious without having experienced the thornier days?
I have delayed this extravagant vacation with children because I have feared I might not have a good time with them.They probably will not appreciate me and all the effort I have to put forth in order for this trip to take place. The money, the time to plan each day, the jet lag, the relationships, the everything. But, today, I believe it will all be worth it. They are excited to go and looking forward to every moment. I will genuinely take pleasure in merely watching them experience Paris, from packing to returning home. I will hold every moment captive because we will probably never get to experience this with them again.
Thank you Lord for your gracious generosity. Thank you for my children. Thank you for Husband.
Stranded
The phone was ringing. I answered. "MOM, Why didn't you tell me I couldn't drive Dad's car!!!?!" "Who is this and why are you yelling at me?" is all I could think. After a few moments of loud interrogation I finally determined who she was (17), where she was, and proceeded to rescue her and her two friends. The three of them had decided to go shopping in a town that was thirty miles away, in traffic, without a map and had wandered lost for a while. Husband's car had been having a little trouble with overheating lately and we had parked it until he could return from a business trip and take it to the mechanic. The car was in bad shape. Now what do I do? Why do I always have to deal with these things myself when husband is out of town? I hate this part of mothering and wifing!!
17, who incidentally will turn 18 in five days, was stranded, and it was all my fault. NOT!! 17 has a habit of blaming others for her poor decisions or problems. Nothing, I repeat, nothing is ever her fault. If she is unhappy, frustrated, experiencing anything unpleasant, it must be someone else's fault! Now, we all know that at some point each of us must take responsiblity for ourselves. You know, not be a victim, simply decide to do something that will address the reasons for our negative feelings and circumstances. My only question is how can I get 17 to do that, too? I have made every effort to reveal this unconstructive trait to her. Realistically, this process started five years ago in junior high when she began to have a little freedom going places with the youth group.
She called back to see how close I was.
"I am at least 20 minutes away" I answered. "17," I said.
"Yes, Mom?"
" I need to say something to you, and I don't think you are going to like it."
"What?"
"You know what we talked about the other day? That difficulty you have?"
"You mean the one where I blame you for all my problems?"
"Yes, that one," I said with a little hope, "Do you think you did that here?"
"Did I do that?" 17 asked with hesitation.
"Well, did I know that you were going to drive dad's car?" I asked hoping she would see where this was going.
"No, I just jumped in it and left."
"Did I know how far away you were going to shop?"
"No," She answered, "And mom?"
"Yes?"
"I knew it was having a problem overheating, I'm sorry, this is all my fault. We're stuck and the car is in terrible shape and it is my fault. " She freely admitted.
Woo Hoo (is that how you spell that?) I still had to point it out, but, the process this time was a little less painful and quicker than usual. I actually have hope that next time I may not even be accused of sabotaging her plans (well I wouldn't really go that far, but I am an optimist).
Isn't this what God wants of us? Admit we are the problem, He will rescue us. Please Lord, let me be quicker to admit my faults and responsibility in causing most of my own predicaments. In short, Lord, save me from myself.
17, who incidentally will turn 18 in five days, was stranded, and it was all my fault. NOT!! 17 has a habit of blaming others for her poor decisions or problems. Nothing, I repeat, nothing is ever her fault. If she is unhappy, frustrated, experiencing anything unpleasant, it must be someone else's fault! Now, we all know that at some point each of us must take responsiblity for ourselves. You know, not be a victim, simply decide to do something that will address the reasons for our negative feelings and circumstances. My only question is how can I get 17 to do that, too? I have made every effort to reveal this unconstructive trait to her. Realistically, this process started five years ago in junior high when she began to have a little freedom going places with the youth group.
She called back to see how close I was.
"I am at least 20 minutes away" I answered. "17," I said.
"Yes, Mom?"
" I need to say something to you, and I don't think you are going to like it."
"What?"
"You know what we talked about the other day? That difficulty you have?"
"You mean the one where I blame you for all my problems?"
"Yes, that one," I said with a little hope, "Do you think you did that here?"
"Did I do that?" 17 asked with hesitation.
"Well, did I know that you were going to drive dad's car?" I asked hoping she would see where this was going.
"No, I just jumped in it and left."
"Did I know how far away you were going to shop?"
"No," She answered, "And mom?"
"Yes?"
"I knew it was having a problem overheating, I'm sorry, this is all my fault. We're stuck and the car is in terrible shape and it is my fault. " She freely admitted.
Woo Hoo (is that how you spell that?) I still had to point it out, but, the process this time was a little less painful and quicker than usual. I actually have hope that next time I may not even be accused of sabotaging her plans (well I wouldn't really go that far, but I am an optimist).
Isn't this what God wants of us? Admit we are the problem, He will rescue us. Please Lord, let me be quicker to admit my faults and responsibility in causing most of my own predicaments. In short, Lord, save me from myself.
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